Rebuilding Intimacy in Your Marriage – A New Beginning
Hey there,
It’s been a while since I last wrote one of these, but after receiving so many messages from people struggling in their marriages, I knew it was time to start again. Moving forward, I’ll be releasing these every Friday, offering insights and advice to help couples build stronger, more intimate relationships. But today is Sunday, and I don’t want to wait another week to talk about something that could change the course of your marriage starting now.
This post on my Facebook page inspired this week’s Newsletter that my Friends Trey and Lea posted online.
Let’s get real for a moment—bickering, criticism, and negativity aren’t getting you anywhere. They don’t strengthen your bond; they chip away at it, slowly but surely. If you find yourself constantly frustrated, stuck in a cycle of resentment, or feeling disconnected from your spouse, you’re not alone. But the good news? You can turn things around.
Intimacy is Like Fitness: You Need Both Cardio and Strength Training
Think about your health. If you only focus on one aspect—say, just lifting weights but never doing cardio—you’re going to have an imbalance. Your endurance will suffer, and you won’t be at your best physically. The same goes for your marriage. You can’t just focus on one kind of intimacy while neglecting the other.
Emotional Intimacy is the cardio of your relationship. It keeps things flowing, prevents stagnation, and builds endurance. This includes deep conversations, small acts of kindness, encouragement, and appreciation. Quite simply, being nice.
Physical Intimacy is the strength training. It builds resilience, reinforces the bond, and brings a powerful connection. This isn’t just about sex—it’s about touch, affection, and making your partner feel desired. But don’t lose sight of the fact that sex is important. Without it, you aren’t lovers.
If you’ve been prioritizing one while neglecting the other, it’s no wonder your marriage might feel off balance. You need both, working together, to create a relationship that feels alive, connected, and unshakable.
Close Your Eyes for a Moment…
I want you to imagine something. Close your eyes and take yourself back to the day you were proposed to (or the day you proposed). Picture that version of yourself—the excitement, the tenderness, the way you looked at them, the way you spoke to them.
Now ask yourself—are you still that person for your spouse?
Over time, life happens. Stress, responsibilities, routines—all of these can make us forget who we were at the start. But here’s the thing: the same passion, kindness, and love that built your relationship in the beginning is what will sustain it now.
Marriage isn’t about finding the right person once and coasting—it’s about continuously choosing each other, again and again, every single day.
Choose Wisely
Nagging, criticism, and negativity will never build a happy marriage. But encouragement, tenderness, and kindness will.
You don’t need to wait for your partner to change first. You have the power to start today. Be intentional. Show love in the ways they receive it best. Speak words of encouragement. Offer affection freely. Choose to see the best in them instead of focusing on flaws.
Start with small, consistent actions. When was the last time you truly listened to your spouse? When was the last time you held their hand for no reason, texted them, “Tonight, you and I in bed are having a good time,” or simply left them a note saying, “I appreciate you?” These little things, done daily, rebuild what’s been lost.
This week, challenge yourself to do something every day that makes your spouse feel loved—both emotionally and physically. If you start, they’ll follow. And before you know it, you’ll feel the connection returning.
I’m excited to be back, and I can’t wait to bring you more every Friday. If you’ve got a question or a situation you want me to address in an upcoming issue, just hit reply and let me know what you’re going through.
Here’s to love, passion, and a marriage that gets better with time.
Until Friday,
Marina